Why Some Moms Hate Maternity Leave

Newsflash! Some moms hate Maternity leave and we think saying it out loud is the first step to feeling less alone and shitty about the whole situation!

Not “it’s a bit tricky.”

Not “I miss my job sometimes.”

We’re talking: wake up, dread the day, silently scream into your Weetabix kind of hate.

And if that’s you? You’re not broken. You’re not ungrateful. You’re just telling the truth.

Because while maternity leave gets dressed up like this dreamy bonding bubble, for a lot of us, it feels more like slowly losing the plot in a soft-play prison.

“But it’s a break!” (Nope. Not even close.)

or

“Enjoy the break!”

“Make the most of it while you can!”

“You’re so lucky to be at home with your baby!”

It's definitely not a ‘break'. It’s unpaid or underpaid labour with no breaks, no lunchroom banter, and no one giving you employee of the month for surviving back-to-back witching hours.

Your coworkers? A tiny human who screams at your boobs and poos up their back.

Yes, there are sweet bits. But there are also long, beige days where you’re Googling “why won’t my baby nap longer than 20 minutes” and wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again.

The stuff no one warns you about

Here’s what so many mums feel but rarely say out loud:

• It’s lonely. One minute you’re in meetings, the next you’re talking to a baby all day and forgetting how to adult-converse.
  
• It’s mind-numbing. Feed. Change. Rock. Repeat. Like Groundhog Day, but sweatier.
  
• It’s financially brutal. Depending on where you live or work, maternity leave can smash your bank account. The money stress hits hard.
  
• It’s an identity thief. You used to be you: a colleague, manager, creative, leader. Now you’re “just Mum.” And some days, you really miss the old you.
  
• It’s loaded with guilt. Guilt for not loving every minute. Guilt for wanting time alone. Guilt for looking at other mums and thinking, “How the hell are they doing so well?”

This is the messy middle that doesn’t make it to the grid. But it’s real. And it counts.

And still… it’s not all awful

Some days are soft and slow and actually kind of beautiful.

Like when your baby falls asleep on your chest and the whole world hushes for a minute. Or when you catch their first gummy smile and burst into tears because it’s just too much love for one heart.

If you’ve got support, a steady income and a healthy recovery, maternity leave can feel like a gentle pause. A chance to soak up the small stuff before routines and packed lunches and nursery drop-offs start.

For some mums, it’s a dream season. For others, it’s a blur of tears, toast crusts and cracked nipples.

Both can be true. You can swing between love and loathing in a single nap cycle.

You can love your baby and still hate maternity leave

This is where the guilt really sinks its claws in.

You adore your baby. You’d fight a bear for them.

And yet… you fantasise about work just so you can drink a coffee while it’s still hot.

You miss thinking big thoughts. You miss your own voice. You miss feeling like more than a snack dispenser in leggings.

None of that makes you a bad mum. It makes you a human one.

Maternity leave is heavy. Emotionally, mentally, physically. And no one gives you a performance review or a raise or even a thank you card at the end of it.

So what now?

Here’s what helps, at least a bit:

• Say it out loud. Talk to your mates. Post anonymously. Post in our Forums. Tell your health visitor. The more we speak the messy truth, the less alone we feel.
  
• Ask for help. Seriously. Text someone. See your GP. Book a therapist. You deserve backup.
  
• Do something just for you. Read a book that isn’t about sleep. Go for a walk without the pram. Even ten minutes alone in a parked car counts.
  
• Stop pretending. You don’t have to smile through it. You don’t have to pretend it’s all bliss. Honesty is strength. Not shame.

Let’s normalise the full truth of maternity leave

Not just the cuddles and milestone cards, but the tears, the identity loss, the sheer monotony of it all.

Because pretending it’s perfect only makes the hard bits harder.

So to the mum who’s quietly counting down the days until work, not because she doesn’t love her baby, but because she misses herself?

We see you.

You’re not failing. You’re feeling. And you’re absolutely not alone.

💬 How did you really feel about maternity leave? Loved it? Hated it? Bit of both? Share your story, we’re here for all of it.

👉 Head over to our forums and join the chat. Because this season is easier when we do it together.