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The reality of real motherhood!

The Reality Of Real Motherhood! - Postpartum - 2021

My throat burns, my eyes hurt, I’m tired, shaking, and ashamed…This is real motherhood.

Before you send me your love notes saying “you’re doing a great job, momma”, or your advice, “have you tried…??”, let me say this, as much as I love your support and guidance, I post these moments, not for me, but because society has created this monster in motherhood. This monster that says we are supposed to be perfect, look perfect and post the pretty. I, personally, feel so isolated by the image society has created for me, scared that in these moments when I should feel like I need to reach out for help, I will be judged instead.

I think one of the hard parts of motherhood is that you can have a wonderful, engaged, memorable even day with your children and STILL have moments like these, moments when you question your sanity, moments when you question your ability, moments that crush you. .

What am I crying about? Well, it could be a mixture of many things. Lack of sleep due to teething and my rigorous schedule, lack of time for myself, lack of naps, anxiety, depression, relationships, money, housekeeping, feedings, teenager, infants, twins…what DON’T moms have to deal with? .

In the end, it doesn’t matter why. My kids are alive and healthy (thank God!), and I could have much bigger things to cry about. But, that doesn’t make me any less ashamed for yelling at my kids, having feelings that don’t make me “normal” according to society’s mom standards, putting my twins to bed early, or needing a second to myself and hiding in a room away from my three-year-old while he watches TV.

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Please, don’t feel sorry for me and please be gentle (with everyone, you never know what people are going through!) Via @mrskyleeaustin on Instagram 💕

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19 Comments

  1. She has an engagement ring on.. so where is that useless man?? obviously not helping her… he’s probably busy at work and then he’s tired when he gets home… so glad I dumped mine

  2. It’s not easy for everyone… There are moms that are married… There are Single moms… Moms with a sick Baby… Moms that lost their parents… Moms that don’t get any Help… Moms with Depression… Moms that have a terrible day… So please don’t judge any mom… It’s a jurney with the same name called Parenthood but No jurney is the Same… I feel Happy for those having a good time and I feel sad for those who do not❤️

  3. There are all sorts of versions of this. I work 80 hour weeks right now and I’m medically complex. But I chose to take this job and you chose to have a baby. People can say suck it up, doesn’t change that things are hard and we’re emotionally and physically exhausted. We’re all human and there’s only one of us.

  4. I didnt have this experience. Mine was literally the perfect that you say isn’t true or possible. I nursed a full year and my baby never had a bottle, not once. I agree that we shouldn’t scare future mothers or prepare them for the worse. I know some don’t have my story, but from looking at these comments, I might say that the majority do, and some have it difficult. I won’t give advice since you specifically asked for none to be given.

  5. Raw! Real! Kickass Courageous!
    Women need to start sharing more of what is reality…..and reality tells me that women are not given the adequate support when bringing life into this world!!!

  6. I feel this picture Soo BAD. This reminds me of when all 5 of our kids were 6 years and younger😢. Those were the HARDEST times. Most of it is all a BLUR. I remember having DAILY crying sessions. But as they’re getting older it’s gotten ALOT easier and they help me out ALOT and are willing to do so. I am Soo thankful for that❤️Lots of rough times but the good ones out weigh them.

  7. How do others mom do it? I always, everyday, say to myself, this is the hardest thing I have ever lived through. I don’t have time to comb my hair, to put on makeup and is loosing weight by the day, 🙁 I feel your tears.

  8. Sometimes motherhood is so hard. Twins make you have so much MORE hormones that the pendulum swings back harder after delivery. (I’m a postpartum nurse). Also- I think people who used infertility treatments often have a harder time Hormonally

  9. Where did society create any such monster?? Its women who choose to pressure themselves. Motherhood is not glorified in anyway in our society, let alone a perfect model. Actually, abortion is. I dont understand why mothers always feel the need to justify themselves. It’s their choice to expose their daily life and milestones in public on social media. And we all know that social media is just a facade, a pretend, where everyone judges as if it was reality. Years ago, it became tacky to updatd your Facebook status with your every thought. Seems like this has now moved to Instagram and Twitter. Everyone needs to posts picture in underwear to show they have scars and stretch marks to be lifted as some kind of superhero. Others post pictures like this. I’m a FTM. I have another lo on the way. I dont see any image society tells me how what I should be or look like. Women needs to stop putting pressure on themselves as mothers because the ideal they are competing with,is what society shows women should be, thrive at, but it doesn’t necessarily involve being a mother. If we keep taking advices left and right, we will never enjoy this precious gift and amazing journey. This society does not promote family life motherhood so remember that it also doesn’t offer any model to follow or attain.

Posted By Claire

Claire is our Community Manager here at New Moms Forum. A mom of two (almost grown-up babies), Claire has been building and operating community-based websites for almost 20 years. In her downtime, Claire enjoys spending time with her family and drinking copious amounts of red wine!

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