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I see you and you’re doing amazing

I see you and you’re doing amazing

Originally posted 2021-01-06 05:13:19.

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Catsplants
Catsplants
2 months ago

I feel this. Going back to work in 2.5 wks and having major MAJOR dread. I used to love my job. I would apply for all advancement opportunities and make it known I wanted to go up a level eventually.
Now I don’t really care but still kinda care?
I don’t want to go back, but still kinda wanna go back?
ALL the mixed emotions. Feeling so much anxiety and weirdness.
Although it is probably the best times for someone like me to go back. I’m an introvert and since having a kid during covid 2020, even more so. I’ll be wfh and having kid around and my partner wfh too so i mean, I have to be grateful for the situation.

Still. Just feel so ambiguous about everything.

heytakealook
heytakealook
2 months ago

I feel this so hard.

MajorInsanity
MajorInsanity
2 months ago

Thank you!

stormwaterwitch
stormwaterwitch
2 months ago

Uhg this is me so hard lately. It’s really difficult to juggle them all. hugs to the other parents out there who feel this way too. We’re all in it together and it will be okay soon

VintageSongbird
VintageSongbird
2 months ago

I feel this. I decided last January to go back to school and a week later my husband started begging for a baby. So we did it, I went back to school, got pregnant right away, still worked full time, and I start classes again in March when LO is about three months old. It’s definitely not easy but it can be done with enough willpower and coffee.

Hustling on the side with some freelance stuff now too 😂 (yes I’m insane I know)

Appaismycopilot
Appaismycopilot
2 months ago

I didn’t know I needed this. Currently a SAHM with a 10 mo. Trying to finish my master’s, and desperately want to find time for a single one of my old hobbies,but never seem to have time or energy for anything extra

hashtagbitch
hashtagbitch
2 months ago

Needed this. Going back to work soon and starting a class and my lil monkey is a week old as of yesterday 🖤

desiladygamer84
desiladygamer84
2 months ago

Finished my Masters before the baby arrived but now I’m like now what? I want to apply for jobs and my husband is retiring from the military so he wants to give me first pick on where we go, but the baby was preemie and he takes all of my time. I feel like I should be home for a bit. If I start a job and leave hubs with the baby I just feel like an asshole, plus husband still has to finish school, so that will leave me look after our son, which I’m down with, but as my time being unemployed gets bigger I’m confused right now. Also my parents live in the UK so they can’t even come out and see their first grandkid.

BalboBibbins
BalboBibbins
2 months ago

I’m currently not wearing pants because I was wearing my last clean pair and then my baby had a blowout in my lap. So thanks for this. Launching an art career later after the kids go to bed. And after laundry.

Nymphadora85
Nymphadora85
2 months ago

Someone decided to do a PhD during a pandemic, with a 5 and a 2 year old. And a growing number of chronic illnesses. And a part time job.

*I started before the pandemic. Had a massive flare up and a new chronic illness diagnosis in the last 6 months. No heads up from the universe at all. Nothing.

yrfriend_pcd
yrfriend_pcd
2 months ago

I need this as I’m about to start my second to last semester of grad school. Sometimes I wonder if the time away from husband and son to do homework or attend a virtual class (used to have to drive to/from campus after work), is all worth it. But I know the investment is in my personal/professional development, as well as our goals as a couple.

A lot of what keeps me going is the thought of my son (he’ll be 2 by the time I graduate) and husband in matching university apparel cheering me on as I walk across the stage at graduation 🙂

fantamonkey
fantamonkey
2 months ago

I feel this. I have a 17 month old and am trying to do a front end developer course and I want to study a few hours a day but I’m lucky if I can get an hour done. Oh well, guess it’s going to take me three times as long as I anticipated.

Hello_Mimmy
Hello_Mimmy
2 months ago

Started back at work on Monday and boy, are there a lot of feelings.

edamommy_
edamommy_
2 months ago

Well this whole comment thread has scared the crap out of me. Before getting pregnant, my husband and I have definitely made my career the priority. I’m on the “partner track” at my firm as they say, unlike the majority of other female partners I didn’t want to wait until after I made partner to have kids (usually after 35 or even later). As a new mom, currently on maternity leave, anyone have some positive stories to share?

Edit: I know it’s going to be difficult, but it seems like most of the other commenters so far have just put all their ambitions on hold or are barely keeping their head above water. Not trying to judge because being a parent is difficult as hell, just looking to hear from some people who made it work.

QuabityAshwood
QuabityAshwood
2 months ago

I’ve been trying to finish my Bachelor’s for 3 years. Just don’t have the time or mental energy to commit to it with a toddler and an infant. One of my goals this month was to work out for 5 min a day. Even that’s hard to find

Also I interviewed for what would be an awesome job for me and now I’m not sure I could take it bc daycare would eat up so much of my salary I don’t know if it’d be worth it

_dislocated
_dislocated
2 months ago

This is me right now. I’ll be finishing my MA in May, but trying to find a job right now is… ugh. Sorry, I can’t work full time because I am the primary caretaker of a one-year-old in one of the top five COVID states, so we can’t send him to daycare, so I need to work solely remotely with flexible hours until everyone in my household gets vaccinated… I have an interview later today and I’m really nervous about it, because it’s with a great company in my field, but even if they want me I might have to turn them down.

My husband and I discuss often how parents (and, let’s be honest, primarily moms) are getting fucked over so hard because of COVID and the limitations it has put on the work-life balance.

MoistTowlette19
MoistTowlette19
2 months ago

I needed this. My career is in ‘neutral’ for right now. I want so much to go full steam ahead – but it’s just not the time.

nerdomwv
nerdomwv
2 months ago

omgggggggggg. needed this.

takeAseatChickenFeet
takeAseatChickenFeet
2 months ago

I feel this! Right now for me im trying to figure out how to incorporate my hobbies/ambitions back into my daily life. Having a 1.5 year old running around makes that very hard right now. It’s slowly getting easier but the other day I put in his favorite cartoon for 30 minutes and tried to work on a crochet project next to him. It was fine for the most part but he kept grabbing my yarn ball and tossing it around the room and after 30 minutes his attention span was gone and wanting to play or go do something else so I couldn’t work on it anymore. Same thing In the garden…he can mostly entertain himself and I can pull a few weeds or prune some plants but he’s still sticking stuff in his mouth and getting into potentially dangerous stuff or running off.

I have small home reno projects I want to do and. Like how is that even possible unless he is napping? And his naps are complete poop right now and all I have time for is a meal and a chore or emails.

Still biding my time…I want to have those spontaneous days again where I get creatively inspires and work on something or paint or knit or get dirty in the garden…all that stuff is planned right now and that’s fine but not super freeing.

squishasquisha
squishasquisha
2 months ago

Feeling this. Working on a promotion this year, but in first trimester with kid #2 and can barely get out of bed.

MacsMomma
MacsMomma
2 months ago

I have relentlessly pursued at home work opportunities and it has definitely panned out, but it’s not the best of both worlds, it’s a dizzying juggle to keep it all going.

merozipan
merozipan
2 months ago

I feel this too. I got laid off at the beginning of the pandemic and gave birth a few months after that. Been unemployed the whole time since being laid off. I need and want to go back to work (very career-driven), but nervous to send a baby to daycare when Covid is so rampant. And I don’t want to put him at risk just to work a job (that mainly pays to send him to the risk). I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, and no clue when things will change.

Enginerda
Enginerda
2 months ago

I feel this, but not in a “career” type of sense. More of just free time to do fun projects in a timely manner or learn some new handy skills etc.

WaterPAsign
WaterPAsign
2 months ago

Wow, I love this so much! It is exactly what I am going through.

Hello___o1
Hello___o1
2 months ago

😭😭😭

Onanislandsomewhere
Onanislandsomewhere
2 months ago

Edit: reading everyones post, I’m on easystreet. I literally can’t understand how y’all cope.

I’m doing my masters online , as a SAHM to a 1 year old. I regret starting the course SO much….it’s such a horrible feeling being torn between the two, it’s like if I quit I still have to pay the fees anyway but I’d be a less stressed out mama to my baby and have more time with her at weekends instead of my husband watching her…but also if I quit I won’t get the type of job I want (which requires another course after this …..massive guilt at using our finances on me!) …which I’m already not even sure if I can do anymore because I don’t think I could miss picking her up from school Just because mama wanted to build a career.

It plain sucks And I know I’ll end up back in retail….which of course is fine and I praise any parent out there working their ass off in retail but I’m so sick of it, before I had baby I had a degree working in a supermarket and it just killed my soul even though I knew I should be humble And feel lucky to have a job. my tutor doesn’t help as when I try to just do a succinct and basic upload for an activity, she gives me all this…”go back and try this and you could go for a walk and get ideas for this and spend hours doing this….”….yes I could, if i was single living at home…..she always adds…”only suggestion of course” with a smiley fucking face……meanwhile I know she grades my paper and I have to fucking do the suggestions…..but I don’t have time, I hate swanning off to do some totally pointless exercise just so I can take a photo to put in my uploads and she will say,,,,oh yes that’s great. Gee…thanks so glad I missed out on a whole weekend with my daughter just for a few extra photos of work.

i Think I started all this when my daughter was born because I felt like I was losing myself and was fed up with us not having much money….I feel so selfish and frustrated ugh

Jaserocque
Jaserocque
2 months ago

I had the one-two-three punch of getting laid off right as I found out I was pregnant, then giving birth at the beginning of the pandemic / global recession. I’m just getting back to work now (LO is 10mo) in a job that’s drastically below my previous pay grade and education level (master’s degree). Ugh I feel this.

SmallScience
SmallScience
2 months ago

I had baby #2 at the start of coronavirus and left my old job for my dream job in November. We’re in the US where COVID is awful right now and we keep losing childcare and have no family in the area to help or fall back on. Today should be my first day with childcare for both kids in nearly month!!

Feeling this so hard – it’s just completely IMPOSSIBLE to have both myself and my husband working full time in this situation but I refuse to give up my career which I love and instead am just running myself into the ground 😭

thelumpybunny
thelumpybunny
2 months ago

I think I am squarely hanging out on the parenting side right now

missyl2018
missyl2018
2 months ago

Ugh I want to promote to a supervisory position at work (male dominated field) and was told by a coworker I considered a friend that he didn’t think I had time for it now that I have 2 kids. I still put in for the job but I know I won’t get it even though I qualify and would do a good job. I know I don’t have the mental capacity for it at the moment, I’m at home until March with my 8 week old, but I will eventually and those positions don’t come open often.

ResearchDisastrous82
ResearchDisastrous82
2 months ago

I got my doctorate and finally got licensed in my field… moved to another country 1.5 years later and had baby #3… now SAHP, likely for the duration of our time here. Feeling this big time.

sallyisadogwastaken
sallyisadogwastaken
2 months ago

Aahhh this made me tear up. My therapist wants me to spend 10 minutes a day uninterrupted on a hobby, and I am flat out trying to get that done. 10 minutes! By the time I’m free from the kids I have housework, my partner needs attention and I’m exhausted. Uni heads back soon too, so that 10 minutes of hobby time is going to fade away.

Zyphyro
Zyphyro
2 months ago

Ugh every time my husband and I talk about life goals. I’m currently a SAHM, which is fine. Cool. Planned. And what our family needs right now. Our planned number and closeness of kids would totally eclipse my earning potential as it was. I do want to go back to school to get a career-changing masters and then head back to work, but it’s hard to talk about these plans, get excited about what I can do and accomplish, and then be like “but now is not the time.”

Posted By Claire

Claire is our Community Manager here at New Moms Forum. A mom of two (almost grown-up babies), Claire has been building and operating community-based websites for almost 20 years. In her downtime, Claire enjoys spending time with her family and drinking copious amounts of red wine!

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