How to Reclaim Your Space When Everyone’s in Your Face

You’ve just had a baby. You’re bleeding, leaking, barely sleeping… and your mother-in-law is parked on your sofa like it’s her name on the mortgage. The kitchen’s a mess, your boobs are out more than they’re in, and someone just asked, “What’s for dinner?” like you’re not three stitches away from a meltdown.

MIL in the Living Room, Leaky Boobs in the Kitchen

Sound familiar?

The early days with a newborn are sacred, messy, and a hormonal chaos. And when you’re sharing that with a rotating cast of family members, especially the kind who believe they’re “helping” by holding the baby while you do the laundry, it can feel like your home isn’t yours anymore.

Let’s talk about how to get that space (and your sanity) back.

The Problem Isn’t Just the Visitors — It’s the Unspoken Expectations

So many mums feel like they have to host even when they’re healing. You might find yourself cleaning up before people arrive, offering tea while your uterus contracts, or trying to look “grateful” when someone critiques your baby’s swaddle.

Here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone a front-row seat to your postpartum experience. Not even family.

Especially not family, who expect you to be social, composed, and fully dressed when all you want is to sit in silence, sniff your baby’s head, and maybe cry in peace.

Your Space, Your Rules: Reclaiming the Living Room (and Beyond)

Want to set some boundaries but not sure how to start? Try these:

1. Blame the Midwife (or Health Visitor or GP)

Sometimes the easiest way to set a limit is to pin it on someone “official.”

Try: “Our midwife recommended we keep visits short and staggered to protect bonding time.”

2. Set Visiting Hours — and Stick to Them

Put a time on it. Seriously. Even if it’s just two hours a day where guests are welcome, your energy will thank you.

Try: “We’re trying to get into a rhythm, so we’re only having visitors between 2–4 pm.”

3. Create a Safe Zone

Choose a room (even if it’s your bedroom) where no guests are allowed. That’s your no-judgement zone for feeding, crying, and napping in yesterday’s knickers.

4. Say No Without the Guilt

You’re not rude. You’re recovering. You’re protecting your peace and your baby’s.

Try: “We’d love some quiet time just the three of us today, but we’ll let you know when we’re up for a visit.”

When It’s the Mother-in-Law… Specifically

Ah yes. The seasoned matriarch who raised your partner and now has thoughts about how you’re raising your child. This one can be tricky.

Tips for surviving (and maybe even softening) the MIL invasion:

• Give her a job (but not baby-related). Ask her to walk the dog, do a shopping run, or tidy the kitchen. Some MILs just need to feel useful.
• Preempt the advice dump with a compliment and redirection. Try: “You’re such a great cook, could you make that stew while I do a feed?”
• Use your partner as a buffer. This is their mum. Let them take the lead on tough conversations.

It’s Not Just About Space. It’s About Safety.

Your nervous system is working overtime postpartum.

You’re processing birth, riding hormonal waves, and trying to learn your baby’s every squeak. When your home feels like a stage, your body can’t relax, affecting milk supply, healing, and mental health.

So no, you’re not “being dramatic” for wanting people out of your house. You’re being protective. As you should be.

It Gets Easier to Say What You Need — But You Don’t Have to Wait

If you’re feeling tense just reading this, take it as your sign. You’re allowed to draw the line. You’re allowed to be selfish with your space. You’re allowed to be the mum who says “Not today” and means it.

And if your in-laws don’t like it? That’s their issue. Not yours.

Ever had a MIL who moved in with her casserole dish and opinions? How did you cope? Share your story. We’re all ears (and snacks, and wine if you’re bringing it).