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How To Cope When You Feel ‘Touched Out”

How To Cope When You Feel 'Touched Out&Quot; - Parenting - 2021
Image Credit @Moomysmilk On Instagram

Touched out = Your toddler wants to climb into your lap, your baby wants to nurse again, your partner wants to hug you. Your skin crawls and you want to scream and run away.

You’ve already lost so much freedom and now you’re feeling like you’ve lost your personal space.⠀

You are not alone! Most mamas, especially introverts, feel this way at least some of the time.

Not only does feeling touched out make us want to scream, but it can also make us feel really guilty.

So what can you do? ⠀

Get some time alone. Even a few minutes every day can help. When your partner comes home, go for a walk for 15 minutes. Take a shower or a bath. Sit in the car and listen to music or a podcast.

If you are a single parent or your partner works too much: accept those offers you’ve shrugged off. A friend, neighbour or family member could spell you for a short time. If no one has offered- ask. Most people would be glad to help out- they just haven’t thought of it.⠀

Start a mindfulness practice. 5 minutes of mindfulness a day doesn’t sound like much but it has made a big difference for lots of people. Practising mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress. ⠀

Be kind to yourself. Even if you’re with the kids, give yourself a break. Make a cup of tea. Paint your toenails. Put on some music you like.⠀

Get more support from your partner or friends. Tell them how you’re feeling in a non-blaming way by speaking about your experience. Because your partner/friends are not mind-readers they won’t know what you’re feeling so ask for help.⠀

If you have older kids/toddlers. Connect in non-touch ways. Put on some music and have a dance party with your kids. Play a game of hide-and-seek. Go for a walk and collect leaves, rocks or flowers. Have your child put on a show for you and let him drink up your undivided attention. Make a special effort to catch up with your partner over a glass of wine.⠀

Put yourself first. It’s not selfish. If you’re not taking care of yourself you can’t take care of anyone else. Prioritize your need for sleep, healthy food, and exercise.

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11 Comments

  1. Yesterday i felt so frustrated, i was cleaning the house, feeding the pets, my baby wanted to play with me, my husband asking for help and i was so tired! I just srtated crying!!!! Normally i can handle it but this quarentine start afecting me!! I need a little time for myself!!!!!

  2. Now i know why i kept telling my campers that it was “too hot for hugs out” so they’d stop touching me and grabbing at me when i was a counsellor. This post is a huge eye opener on many levels

  3. I needed this. I’ve spent the past few days hiding by separating myself from my son by standing on the backing of the couch so he stops touching my toes, feet and legs. I’m an introvert and I have a hard time with all the constant touching and i kept feeling guilty not understanding why i was having such a hard time being touched. I haven’t been sleeping since I’m a single mom so it makes extra sense why it’s so consistent

  4. I have had times where I have a brief moment of feelings of failure and u feel like you have tried everything and all u want to do is walk away but at the same time the love you feel for ur little one is like no other!
    I take a deep breath and I ask myself to let my walls down and give him a big big cuddle. The love and cries are great to share together, even if he wants to be put back down, I just breathe him in and all the negativity and frustration melts away. 👶 💕

  5. OHMG this is me after a 12 hour shift in the hospital. And then this is me mid day when my husband gets home from work since I’ve been on leave. You just think, I can’t touch another person. Wait, you want me to have SEX with you?!? NOPE. Don’t even touch me.

Posted By Claire

Claire is our Community Manager here at New Moms Forum. A mom of two (almost grown-up babies), Claire has been building and operating community-based websites for almost 20 years. In her downtime, Claire enjoys spending time with her family and drinking copious amounts of red wine!

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