Anyone else feel like every other mom is older and more put-together?

  • Anyone else feel like every other mom is older and more put-together?

    Beyond The Bump - 2021 KATEWM updated 3 weeks ago 2 Members · 2 Posts
  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    Upper-Replacement529

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I’m 37, almost 38 and I have a 10 week old and an almost 3 year old. I’m sahm, but not rich by any means. Between covid and the cost, daycare for 2 isn’t feasible. I wear lounging clothes 99.9% of the time and never wear makeup unless I’m going to a special event. I feel old and out of place most of time, so I think it’s just natural to not feel like you fit in.

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    Digzalot

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I feel this. I live in a major city where the average age of a woman having her first child is 35, and I was 27 when I had my LO. That being said, from going to lots of mom groups, none of the older moms have to it any more together than the rest of us, hahah! Other than obviously, someone 10 years older than you is more likely to be a homeowner or be further along in their career, but when it comes to the things we are all struggling with day to day (sleep, feeding, the major changes in becoming a parent), we’re all in the same boat together.

    That being said, I made a really good friend at one of those mom groups who is 9 years older than I am, but we just clicked and we chat every day and have playdates all the time. We don’t even notice the age difference until we’re talking about our favourite toys or shows from childhood, lol!

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    ChristineM2020

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    Everyone I know who have kids had kids young like 19-26 and their kids are in elementary school and i’m turning 31 this month and my son will be 9 months (my first). It so weird to see all the women around me who are younger with older kids than mine that look like they know what they are doing because they had their kids years ago. I think anyone who has a child or children before you will make it seem like they have it all put together but everyone just wings it I think. Haha at least that’s the impression I get talking to people.

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    _mrka

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I’m in my 30s and very much feel like that. Weirdly not when I’m baby wearing, but when we use the pram I feel as if I’m pretending to be a mom. I never thought I would have imposter syndrome for motherhood.

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    Trick-Collection-877

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I bet those women are spending all morning the day of those meet ups to attempt to look put together but it’s just a facade

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    BethintheD

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I am the old mom and don’t feel put together 🤣 but I’m not a rich SAHM (those folks live in the next county… haha).I feel like everyone is younger and judges me and I hate when my husband brings up our age to others. I think it just goes both ways no matter where you land.

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    EP899

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I’m 35 and…yes. (Except everyone is younger 🙃)

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    smolyetieti

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    Eh. I think it’s important to remember what you see if not the whole story. I can assure you these women have days at home behind closed doors where they haven’t washed their hair, the dog has peed on the carpet, and they haven’t worn makeup in a week.

    SAHMs, we don’t have it all together. It’s not easier being at home. It’s just different. We are just as tired as working moms.

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    areareoh

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I feel this way sometimes, and I’m 43 (with a 2.5 year old)! So, mostly they’re probably aren’t actually older than me, but it feels like they have all the kid stuff figured out so much more smoothly!

  • Beyond The Bump - 2021

    KATEWM

    Member
    November 7, 2021 at 6:07 am

    Idk why I feel this way. I’m 28 and have a good job. We’re doing well by all metrics. It’s not like I’m a teen mom or anything. But I joined a local mother’s club and it feels like I’m a kid compared to them. They’re all in their mid-thirties and rich sahms who own houses and have everything so together.

    It’s not just this one mother’s club either, it’s every mom I meet. And idk how much of this is in my head. I think because I live in an expensive part of the country and most people wait until they’re older to have their first baby, but still. It’s like mom imposter syndrome.

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