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Forums Forums Group Forums Beyond The Bump 3 yr old hates the new baby and me ! Reply To: 3 yr old hates the new baby and me !

  • FuzzySquish_123

    October 23, 2021 at 9:47 am

    my eldest is still adjusting and we are at 9weeks. after a few days home my mom came to visit and he loaded himself into her car and stayed the night at her house. he rushed her to bring him home the next morning and had the look of utter disappointment when he realized the baby was still at the house.

    i ignored his fake wailing/crying. i ignore/d him suddenly sucking his thumb for attention (he never was a thumb sucker and he will purposely do it and get my attention for reaction so i just shurg and say ‘okay, and?’ then walk away.

    he is included in chores and helping with baby. he can take his own pull-up to the trash and his sippy to the sink so when i change baby i ask him to toss the dirty diaper and to place the empty bottle in the sink after feedings.

    I’ve encouraged a stricter feeding time during the day with baby that allows me to make breakfast for my eldest and then feed baby in the armchair so they ‘have’ breakfast together. at lunch baby is asleep so we get a meal together, and then they both ‘help’ with dinner in the kitchen.

    we try gentle reasoning with redirection. then guide him to do the desired behavior. if he continues the poor behavior depending on what it is he either gets timeout for 3minutes or quiet time in his room until he is calm. naps have been a fight for weeks. grabbing the walls and doorframes so i picked him up and he snuggled my neck and easy nap. realized i stopped picking him up so nap times he gets carried. whenever he wants in my lap for a cuddle i let him, even if I’m holding his brother. i had to encourage lap sharing and teach him to be mindful of his brother’s body. made things much easier because he would try to make me put baby down just to get in my lap and almost made me drop baby.

    my eldest will be 3 at the very end of November and is speech delayed at an 18month level. we work with a behavioral play therapist/child coach until his speech therapy begins.

    what really helped was his paternal grandparents. at the 2 week mark his out of state grandparents came to visit and took him back for a week. upon his return his behavior was exponentially better.

    hope some of this helps.