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  • smmysyms

    Guest
    October 21, 2021 at 10:36 pm

    I always wanted a baby (just a feeling, no strong reason). I spent a year TTC with my ex and got the reality dose that I might have to be okay with not having a baby. I met my now husband and we were non-committal on a baby. I wasn’t sure I could. We wanted time as a couple just the two of us and to travel. He is a child of divorce and abuse so he has a super heightened sense of responsibility about bringing a child into this world. We traveled and had our time as a couple. However, we both developed PTSD from our work and for him it was largely related to child abuse. I thought a baby was totally off the table. My biological clock kicked in and I felt like I was grieving in secrecy for this baby I would never have. We focused on our mental health. We’ve made great improvements individually and in how we work together as a couple. It’s only because of those developments that we’re TTC now. We’re 34 and 35. It is so important to be in a healthy space individually and as a couple before having a baby. Don’t rush yourself for his timeline. You both still have time whether you stay together or split. I really recommend honest communication and therapy (if necessary). This is definitely not something to do for someone else. You both have to be in it 100%. It’s not fair to that baby if you’re both not.