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Forums Forums Group Forums Breaking Moms Update after SO said he’s not attracted to me anymore… Reply To: Update after SO said he’s not attracted to me anymore…

  • warmfuzzy22

    October 20, 2021 at 11:06 pm

    Okay so I went back and read your previous post. It sounds like you have been cornered into carrying the entire load of the household and your relationship on your shoulders only to have your family just shin kick you at the worst possible moment.

    My initial thought was that guy is an asshole supreme with the added up charge for guacamole. I now there has to be some redeeming qualities to him for you to be in a relationship with them so I am withholding my reddit cliché “get therapy and dump him” advice. Although therapy is amazing and I highly recommend it for everyone.

    Instead it sounds like its time to rebalance your life and your spouse just volunteered to help in the shittiest way possible. For example they dont feel that you are putting an effort into your appearance for them anymore then great for an hour after they get home your kid is their responsibility so you can take time for yourself and “get pretty.” On the weekends its 2 hours every morning to get fully pretty and they are responsible for cooking healthy lunches and dinners. If there a fight about it, you can tell them that you took what they said to heart and this is what you think would work to make things better. If its not working after a month you can try something else. I would also add in there that there are some parts of the mental and emotional labor that you are letting go of to help make more room for your relationship. For example you will not be doing anything for Thanksgiving and you two will be doing all of the holiday stuff including shopping and wrapping as a team. I would also ask him what prioritizing your relationship looks like to him and what steps he plans to take to get there.

    I would also due to your recently changed needs you will not be hosting at all this winter holiday and will be happily joining as a guest but will not be offering any help of services involving food prep. To help you on your new healthier lifestyle. I also understand how absolutely heartbreaking “what i am just being honest” parents can be. Unsolicited brutal honesty is really just being brutal.

    In other words its time to stop juggling everything and let some balls drop and rebalance. Show your partner that if they need to do in order for them to get the attention they want from you. If they want more of your time they need to help you cary the load so you have more time to give.

    I say all of this because my husband and i had a similar but admittedly less extreme experience a few years ago. Hes always been a good teamate but never fully followed through on things because he knew i would pick up the slack. Then one day he had a moment of clarity when I referred to a root canal I had gotten that day as a nice bit of me time. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)