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Forums Forums Group Forums Breaking Moms What do you wish you know before having a child? Reply To: What do you wish you know before having a child?

  • wilksonator

    October 21, 2021 at 4:56 pm

    How important it is to have an equal partner in your partner. A person who actually respects you as a human, a partner and an individual ( and not only a mother, the housekeeper or the social organiser).

    Do yourself a favour, look at your life, look at the share of your housecare, life care, mental load pet care or any care that you do in the relationship now. If it not even remotely equal, DO NOT, DO NOT have any more children with that person! Because once you have that child, this means that he will expect that you will do all that PLUS the majority of childcare.

    BUT if you do have a partner you decided to have a child with, trust them and let go enough to let them be a parent. Give them space to learn, to make ‘mistakes’ as they learn ( just as you did) to be a parent.

    LET GO. Leave the house – go to the gym, meet with friends, lock yourself in bedroom with headphones, etc. Leave them on their own with the child – regularly frequently, for long periods of time. That means at least 50% of all mornings, evenings, nights and weekends outside of the 40 hours that you work ( or do your SAHP job) your partner is ‘on’ and you are ‘off’. And vice versa.

    Do not help, do not judge, do not criticise, just LEAVE.

    It’s the only way they’ll learn to be good at it, to learn about their child, and all that it takes to care for them. And it the only way you will get thAt break you need to stay a mentally healthy, aware, engaged and present individual ( and parent) that you want to be.