Many pregnant women tell me that they have vivid fantasies about having a boy or a girl and what that will be like.
Some think that having a girl will be easier because they have an easier time picturing her. But often, they’re replaying memories from their own childhoods and imagining a little girl as an extension of themselves, a do-over or mini-me, or future best friend.
A girl’s body may also just be more familiar, easier to think about in terms of diaper changes and someday having “The Talk”.
Some women may fantasize about going shopping with a daughter if that’s what they enjoy and feel anxious when they try to imagine playing with a son because they “don’t know how to do boy stuff,” like rough-housing if that’s what they remember about their interactions with their older brother.
On the other hand, a woman may fantasize about having a boy if she had an easy connection with a little brother. Or if she had a competitive relationship with her own sister or mother and doesn’t want to repeat those same dynamics in another female bond.
If she views her husband as happy and unflappable, she may imagine a son with that personality rather than a daughter who may inherit some of her ‘flaws.’
We encourage you to remember that biological sex is no guarantee of your child’s interests and disposition.
Your daughter may love sports and hate shopping; your son may be sensitive and love talking about his feelings. (Biological sex is also no guarantee of gender or sexual orientation!)
When your baby is firstborn, their anatomy will be all you know about them—that’s why weight, length, and sex are the standard for birth announcements.
But soon enough you’ll get to know your child’s quirks and personality, related to gender and beyond. Whether the baby is the sex you wished for or not, they will be full of surprises.
What’s your thoughts?
Let us know in our comments below.